Ladies: Keep The Jewelry, Or Give It Back?
May 20th, 2008 | By moneyking | Category: Money
For your consideration: Ladies: Keep The Jewelry, Or Give It Back.
This subject came up today as one of our crew wound up breaking up with her boyfriend/fiancé/partner/intended/whatever-you-wanna-call-him.
Over the course of their relationship (5 years), she had amassed quite a large amount of jewelry in the form of bracelets, watches, necklaces, rings and of course, the big 2 carat engagement ring all now sitting in a drawer in her room.
She was asking us about what we think she should do with this stuff. Money King even looked at some of it.
The stuff is worth some cash, if she wants it. And, who in the world wouldn’t want some extra cash?
We told her about this service she could try: cash4gold.com. We also told her that she could look around in the newspapers for jewelry dealers and such. She could even use craiglist.com. From what we can tell, these Cash4Gold people are legit. They’re buying gold around $300 an ounce right now (measuring it in pennyweights—so you have to do the ounce conversions to see what you’ll really get out of them in the form of a check). The incentive for this company seems to be in the resale of YOUR gold for its current trade value (around $900 an ounce). What you’re getting from this company is convenience, i.e., the mother of all service charges. You send them your stuff; they send you money. Easy. No driving to dealers or haggling.
Overall, our official recommendation to all of you ladies out there is that if you break up with someone/it/thing:
Freeze!!! Right there . . .
Don’t even think about giving away any of your old boyfriend/it/thing/fiance’s jewelry back to him. It’s just not an option in The Money Kings world.
Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Before all you guys start thinking of emailing us about how the engagement ring is a symbol of this and that, and how it’s not fair that the girl gets to keep the ring, etc, etc. We’ve got simple advice for you too! So, please, just refrain . . .
But first, the ladies:
- You don’t give any gifts from a man/it/thing/fiancé back, because they’re gifts. Any attempt on his/it/thing’s part to claim ownership of said gifts is moot.
- If possible, try to get appraisals of all of the jewelry your man/it/thing/fiancé gives you so you have him do the work of assessment up front. Just in case. And,
- Any jewelry you acquire becomes part of your portfolio of assets, remember. Gold and jewelry are assets to you after the relationship is done. Be a MoneyQueen and separate the sentiment from the value!
For the guys:
This post is really just for the gals. You’ve heard our recommendations for them, and for what they should do with your generosity. Our tip to you is to deal it out very miserly!
Good luck out there.
Keywords: gold, jewelry, cash, karat, carat, gifts, money, sentiment, ownership
In your advice for the ladies what did #2 mean. It didn’t really make sense to me.
I agree that the girl shouldn’t give back any of the jewelry except the engagement ring. A guy would only give it to the girl if she says she will marry him. If she breaks up with him, I think she is obligated to give it back b/c she broke her word and is no longer willing to go through with it. Unless of course the guy did something horrible and caused the break up, then I think she should keep it.
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We’re saying that if you have the charm to get your man/it/thing to give you jewelry, maybe you can get him to give you official appraisals as well.
This is great advice! I also believe that women should never give back the gifts they were given in the relationship. Some return their gifts out of pride, emotional outburst or to get back at the ex-partner/boyfriend. I’m too sentimental so I prefer to keep mine.
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Wonderful advice!! I love to wear Jewelry and My Jewelry Box is full of awesome designs…
May I recommend a place like Midwest Refineries to send in gold and silver? You’ll get a lot more of the cash value back to you than anywhere else (I think the last time I sent in my gold/silver scrap I got 90% of the market value back in a check). All you do is send it in and include your address and phone number. They cut you a check and voila!
And I agree..a gift is a gift. Whether from your man or your grandma. You don’t give gifts back. That’s why they are called gifts.
Well said!
totally agree! it’s inappropriate to give gifts back not matter what the circumstances are.
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I dunno about you but if the lady likes to give it back I gladly take it
pawn it on ebay or something
I completely agree with this statement. I am currently going through a breakup and was seeking similar advice. He had given me a bracelet and is now leaving me messages and calling me (after not speaking straight since we broke up, and believe me the last time we spoke he said some pretty harsh things). It’s not a familiar heirloom nor is it an engagement ring. I would have not had an issue giving it back if during the last few months of our relationship he was not rude, crude and deceitful.
To each their own, if you think it is necessary to either ask for it back or to return it, that is your own decision - however, a gift is a gift. How many of us have lost friends we had bought numerous gifts for, you hardly see us asking for those back.
Just seems to be a low blow from a scorned ex-lover.
Two scenarios:
1. Bad economy = He needs it to pawn or return for cash.
OR
2. New Girl = He’s trying to kill two birds with one stone.
Sounds like you should keep it.
I actually thought it was either of the two; but I came to find out he wants the jewels in the bracelet (sapphires) to be used in a piece he is making for himself and needs it by this Friday. He then actually threatened to take me to court so I might end up just giving it back. I believe I would win this in the court of law however a lot of my friends/family are concerned for my safety and think I should take the high road because it is not worth it.
It’s been rather trying to go through this (first for me) and just thinking I will never accept a gift from someone…..especially someone I am romantically involved with.